For The Record - Part Two

Author’s Note: This is dedicated to Ms. Roberts, my high school college counselor while I was at Bob Jones High School. This story was twelve years in the making, and I’m glad I’ve finally gotten to finish it for you.

Sorry, this took so long - I’ve been spending time keeping to myself & playing a lot of video games to pass the time. 

You’ve read the title and you’re thinking, “Part II? Where’s Part I?”

Here’s some key background. So Part I, or the original For The Record, exists. It was my last blog post as an undergraduate at MIT, where I reflected on my four-year journey at the Institute. However, I won’t be republishing it. 

Why?

Short answer: it’s super cringe. 

Long answer: Actually, that doesn’t do justice to how embarrassed I am of having released such writing publicly. It’s closer to being an unhinged piece of writing.

It’s one of the rare cases where my words, while genuine and honest, didn’t age well.

While I am thankful I wrote the piece as a therapeutic (read: cathartic) exercise, I wish I had exercised judgment and not published it. Even though it’s eight years later, there are consequences to such writing that persist to this day.

So, why publish this now, especially given the risks associated with publishing Part I? It’s because I have an undeniable urge to close this chapter of my life, and I want to do that by publicly sharing my reflections. Fortunately, the last eight years have allowed me to grow up significantly, so I am wise enough to know what to share and what not to share online. Unfortunately, while this won’t be a tell-all exposé, I hope you’ll enjoy what I’ve chosen to share.

In lieu of the OG For The Record post, I’ll share this: The Other Side of Success. It’s my last post as a student at MIT, and it serves as a marker that, yes, my time at MIT ended on a happy note! It will provide a concise summary of the original For The Record, as well as serve as a “spiritual successor” to it.

Preface

When I originally envisioned writing this, I thought it would be similar to Part I, just an immediate retrospective of the past two years at HBS. After much deeper reflection, if I were writing just that, the story would feel incomplete.

My high school college counselor, Ms. Roberts, gave me some sage advice during my senior spring of high school. She recommended keeping a journal and writing in it every day, so that by the end of my four-year journey, I can look back and see how much I’ve grown as a person.

Journaling was a fantastic idea. I remember buying my first Moleskine notebook and starting to write each day as a freshman at MIT, all the way to the end of my last year as a graduate student at the Institute. (To be fair, I did miss a few days here and there!)Yet, early on into journaling, I realized that I didn’t want to just write in a diary for myself, but share my experiences with others as I went through life at MIT.

So, I started a blog — a Tumblr, in fact. And now, twelve years later, I’m still writing about my life and journey online.

It all started at MIT, and now it ends with Harvard.

It’s been a hell of a rollercoaster of a journey. I’ve learned a lot about myself in the process, and I’m happy to share those learnings with you one last time publicly.

What makes writing this difficult is trying to balance being vulnerable without oversharing, and being genuine despite the fear of embarrassment and judgment.

The last time I wrote something like this, the original For The Record, it was, ironically, just after getting rejected from HBS. Now, having graduated from the same institution, things have finally come full circle.

It’s hard to capture just the last two years when I feel compelled also to capture the preceding ten as well. 

I’ll give it my best shot.

Eight years. Three degrees. Two institutions.

Welcome to For The Record - Part II, the final recap of my eight years in school at MIT and Harvard.

Left Image: Me as a Senior at my MIT Senior Ball in 2017. Right Image: Me as an Elective Curriculum (2nd Year MBA student) at my HBS EC Gala in 2025. What a difference eight years make!

I’ll briefly spend some time recapping the last two years at HBS briefly, then talk about reflecting on For The Record: Part I, then speak a little bit about what’s coming up in my future.

HBS Recap:

The last two years pursuing my MBA at HBS have been some of the most challenging and rewarding periods of my life. I’ve learned a lot about myself over the past two years, and am rather fortunate to be graduating with a job. Here are some brief takeaways from HBS categorized academically, socially, and professionally.

Academically: 

I enjoyed HBS’s rigorous academic curriculum. I enjoyed my first-year learning experience with my Section, or 95 other MBA students, every weekday for a year, as we went through the Restricted Curriculum (RC) year together. In my second year, or Elective Curriculum year, I doubled down on Strategy, The Entrepreneurial Manager (TEM), and Business, Government, and International Economy (BGIE) courses. I’m walking away with a pretty solid foundation of understanding business, especially startups and venture capital (VC). It’s also interesting because there’s a good deal of overlap between what I’ve learned in the classroom and what I learned in the field, covering startups for a number of years.

I’m happy to share that I graduated with honors, but unfortunately didn’t meet achieve all the academic goals that I set out to do. It’s ok, I’m glad I pushed myself and tried.

Socially: 

I’ll miss the 1:1 conversations over lunch or dinner the most. I’ve enjoyed getting to know my section mates and classmates over coffee or a meal in Spangler or at one of the restaurants in Harvard Square. Moreover, some of my best times at HBS were traveling abroad with them, whether for school in the form of the Field Global Immersion experience in São Paulo, Brazil, or on a club-sponsored trek to Colombia, Korea, or China. (It’s interesting, I’ve doubled down on visiting South America and Asia over my past two years!). One thing I wish I did more was just chill in more in the lounge in Mellon Hall (my dorm) instead of reading cases. I wish I worked out more too at Shad Hall, our schools gym. But that’s okay, I’m thankful for all the friendships I’ve made in my two years there.

Professionally:

I got a lot of exposure to startups and venture capital here at HBS. I hosted plenty of alumni fireside chats with current VCs. It was a joy doing so through the VCPE Club. I also got to help organize and host the Entrepreneurship Summit during my second year at HBS as well. Unfortunately, I won’t be going into VC post-MBA, but it may still be a goal in the future. I’m grateful to have graduated with a job and to be living in a new city.

I came to realize one thing during my time at HBS. Throughout my time here, I’ve had the privilege to hear from countless successful people who were kind enough to give us the inside scoop on how they became successful or overcame complex and uncertain professional challenges in their lives. But towards the end, those messages started to ring hollow. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful to be attending these talks, speeches, and fireside chats. Yet towards the waning days of B-School, I found myself craving not advice about career success, but about life. 

What does it mean to live a life that you’re proud of, beyond mere professional success?

I suppose I realized that what I was seeking was not knowledge, but wisdom. I found that it was in short supply.

Overall, I would like to thank the great classmates, section mates, professors, and staff I met during my two years at HBS. You all made such a positive impact on me that it will last a lifetime. Thank you.

HBS opened my eyes to so much, especially myself. I’ve put so much pressure on myself to succeed that I didn’t enjoy the journey as much as I should have. I took my own accomplishments for granted as I strove to hit the next target. I never stopped to “smell the roses” and appreciate each moment for what it was, not what it could be. This behavior didn’t start with HBS; however, it began at MIT.

I'm from around the way, I'm leaving here with something!

Reflecting on For The Record - Part 1:

As I’ve been going through countless drafts of the sequel, I've been reading the original For The Record, the one I wrote shortly before graduating from MIT and just after being rejected from HBS's 2+2 program (deferred MBA admissions program). I wrote my most raw, emotional piece ever, and published it.

I don’t regret writing it, but I absolutely do regret publishing it. It’s only years later that I recognize the wisdom in Ms. Robert’s advice to write in a journal.  Not everything is meant to be published online!

I digress. 

Upon rereading it, I was reliving all of the negative emotions I was experiencing while writing this when I was 21.

But there was one new feeling that overshadowed them all: fear. 

This isn’t something that I consciously picked up on over previous rereads over the years, but it’s clear to me as day now. 

When I reread the OG For The Record post, the emotion of fear overshadows and dominates the rest. I feared being inadequate in situations where I wouldn’t be able to help my loved ones the most. So I put immense pressure on myself to be successful so my worst fear wouldn’t come to pass.

And in some ways, it did. I’m neither the professional nor the person I wanted to be by the end of these twelve years, despite all the markers of conventional success I’ve attained.

The reason why I am “successful” is because I am deeply broken at my core. 

As much as I’m embarrassed to share this observation about myself as well as the fact I made the same mistakes at MIT as I did at HBS, I’m going to do something for myself that I’ve never done, which is give myself grace and not endlessly punish myself for my shortcomings.

Once again, the beauty of Ms. Robert’s wisdom becomes manifest: because I wrote this stuff down years ago, I can look back and finally understand myself now with a more mature and forgiving perspective.

If I could tell my seventeen-year-old self one thing: don’t worry. Enjoy the fact that you’re about to be 18 and attend MIT. Don’t worry about having to be somebody; just enjoy being yourself and the journey of becoming who you are. Most importantly, don’t be afraid about family. Much easier said than done, but I promise you, everything will be okay.

The same would go for my twenty-seven-year-old self: There’s no need to be insecure. You don’t have anything to prove to anyone at HBS. You should be very proud of the path you took to get here, even if it wasn’t picture perfect. You did it your way, and for a brief moment, we got to live our wildest dreams in LA. You did it on your own terms, and you did it prior to HBS. Take pride in not just what you accomplished, but also how you accomplished it. Be proud of yourself for following your curiosity and seeing it through to the end.

I suppose I needed a lot of time and space from my undergraduate and graduate school years to fully understand my six-year experience at MIT. 

It will be the same for HBS as well. I could go into detail about every little thing that happened during my time in business school - good or bad - but I won’t be able to make full sense of it till much later with time and space. So yeah, the short recap above will have to do.

The trilogy is complete. Upper Left Image: 2017 Graduation with an S.B. in Aerospace Engineering from MIT. Upper Right Image: 2019 Graduation with an S.M. in Aerospace Engineering from MIT. Bottom Image: 2025 Graduation with my Master of Business Administration from HBS.

What Comes Next:

Well, as I mentioned above, I’m fortunate to have graduated with a job, especially in this economy, with countless headlines of MBAs graduating without full-time employment.

I turn thirty in the next few weeks. Both my 20s and my educational journey are coming to a close.

My 30s will be different from my 20s. I want to live a life that’s more than my ambition. While I’ll still strive for professional success, I hope it comes from a place of faith, and not fear. In some ways, I spent much of my twenties motivated by fear, which is useful but isn’t healthy in the long term, so I’d like for that motivation to come from genuine faith in myself (and God).

I’ll be spending a lot of my 30s growing as a person, fixing myself, exploring hobbies I’ve long neglected, and enjoying one day at a time.

I want to take a moment to express my gratitude to all the people I’ve met during my journey over the past twelve years. It’s been a wild and fun ride.

Most of all, a big thank you to Ms. Roberts. I have nothing but gratitude for your kindness and advice during my time at Bob Jones High School. 

I never would have gone on this journey without your lovely advice on a warm spring day during the second semester of my senior year. I’ll never forget your advice to write down my journey so I could look back and see how much I’ve grown as a person.

I’ve grown a lot. Despite the highs and lows, I’m grateful that I applied your advice, as it has led me in life.

Writing has given me many gifts over the years, but the most important one is the ability to look back and see the person I’ve become and am becoming.

I still have a lot of work to do. Yet, I thank you because without the writing, I couldn’t have the insights to become the person I’ve always wanted to be.

Ms. Roberts, your words of wisdom made all the difference. I wouldn’t be who I am today (as imperfect as I am) without your advice.

I love you, and thank you for being such a wonderful counselor to me. This wouldn’t have been possible without you.

Best,

Fred

————

I want to address a lingering question: “Why put any of this stuff, my story, online in the first place?”

It’s a great question. I’m probably not doing myself any favors by posting this on the Internet. But I’d like to think that there’s someone out there who may have gone through similar things that I have, and at the very least know that they aren’t alone.

If you’re reading this, it's likely that we’ve never met in person, and probably never will.

I love you. Thank you for reading my work all these years.

It means the world to me that you would stick with me to the very end. 

Here we are. It’s bittersweet.

My Great Journey has come to an end. However, the next chapter begins.

Unfortunately, you can’t come with me this time. This is a solo trip going forward.

I’ll continue to write, but just for myself in a journal, finally adhering to Ms. Robert's advice.

Still, thank you for sticking with me until the end.

I love you,

Frederick